Turn back time. Please.

In a desperate attempt to turn back time, I tried something that was close to what could be time travel. While this may trigger some of you, I do not mean actually cutting through space and time to reverse the clock. No. Instead I tried having a dish that I used to make almost everyday a few years back. I thought maybe that would make me feel like I’m somewhere back there. 

You know how certain smells or when you look at certain objects- you get this weird feeling of nostalgia. Yes. I was going for that. But apparently even that is failing me. My noodles took me nowhere. It made me feel nothing close to nostalgic. I felt devastated because that was my only hope left. I was a fricking tome bomb at this point, waiting for someone to pull the damn trigger. It’s not like I cannot do it on my own. I just know that will be the most troublesome thing I can ever do to the people who love me. And I do not need to be the reason shit go down in anyone’s life anymore. 

But when life pulls the trigger on its own, I’ll leave without complaints. If life could ever take me back- I’ll go in an instant. And if life could freeze forever- there’s a time I would go back to. There is a time I never wanted to leave. And if I could, l’d stay there frozen for all of eternity- without complaints.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Prologue to Untitled

How ever am I supposed to make meaning out of what I write every day, every-time I think of you, or of the one that is hiding behind the shadows of my own making. I wrote the previous poem out of a haze. My mind is still running in that maze. Trying to make sense of why I would even think of burying myself for a person I did not even remember. I wrote those lines tailing on a long forgotten phrase of emotions I had even forgotten existed. I came for another purpose, I was forcefully halted on the precious post, on those first two lines. Something that I kept in my archives for god knows how long. And I couldn’t move on unless I give something to it. Something for those words to feed on. Something for those emotions to put a blanket on. I do not even know what I am protecting. My feelings of last summer or my thoughts of every waking hour. But these lines meant something to me. Even if it was way behind my lifeline, even when I had come a long way from that past-time, I felt something t...
Read more

Untitled.

I have been seeing you everywhere I have been imagining your scent washing over me From day one and till this very second I could think of you all the time And yet fall over stupid oneliners you failed to make I could hate you for all that you did to me And still love you till the earth drops I never wanted closure, I wanted you I never wanted to let go, I wanted to cling to you Making you feel the weight I carry For all the times you made me worry You would never know how often I hurt How often I bore the urge to dig up a hole And bury myself in it Not to take my own life, and not to hide  But just so that you would know How I felt whenever you ran away From me.
Read more

Untrust the Disappearance

  I live in a world where I can escape from time unknown to places strange and fitting for my darkness. Corners perfect for my whims and wisps of drama. A spotless world of imperfections and clouded dreams where you are welcome to stay or leave. But I suggest the latter, for it gets darker and harder to breathe like the insides of the sea deep below. Well then again, who am I to judge who can or cannot breathe well underwater. Maybe, just maybe they are better swimmers than someone who has only swam once in her life and that too barely. I am her. She is me. This is a line we hear one too many times these days but I cannot stop myself from doing the same. Oh it even rhymes! Well the phonetic in the middle of both days and same rhymes, I think. And I am drifting away from the starting. But then again, how do you start when you live in a world that is upside down. Do you just begin from the end? That sounds dramatic and clearly not what I am going for right now. There is no start in m...
Read more